is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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