happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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