Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
