Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
