I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Randomize
