So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
You left your phone here
Wait...
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
