Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
