i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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