What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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