How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize