really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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