And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
