are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
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