He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
