I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Welp...herpes.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
