3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
