So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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