the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
