He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
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