My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
