apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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