it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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