Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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