Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
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