shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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