everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
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