Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
i out mim tonsoeep
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
