I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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