Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
