Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
