Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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