weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
