She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
