I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
