i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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