Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
