he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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