Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I AM VODKA MAN
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
