u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
