wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
