im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Acid is not a monday night drug
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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