her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
