Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
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