Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Randomize
