Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
