Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
