It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
