I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
