Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
