There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
