he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
