you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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