Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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