from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize