I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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