That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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