I just made out with a guy for $7.
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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