I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
