boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Help. Why am I so naked?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
