I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
