Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
so let's talk penis.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
