you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
